Opportunity

I've gotten the most incredibly perfect job offer that I'm going to take. Tomorrow, I'll officially be a Lady Raider Basketball manager. I'm going to get paid to do what I love- as a college student. I'll get to travel with the team. Everything that I've been through has set me up for this feeling, and it's all worth it. But all I've been able to think about is not being able to see your face when I told you. Not being able to hear the excitement in your voice. I know exactly what you would say and exactly what voice you would use. I know you're always looking out for me from heaven, it's just days like these that I want you here more than anything.

I always thought that I'd see you again.

You went away. How dare you? I miss you.

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

Sitting around, no work today
Try pacing to keep awake
Laying around, no school today
Just drink until the clock has circled all the way
It is late afternoon
As you walk through the rooms
Of a house that is quiet
Except for unanswered telephones
You stand near the sink
While you're mixing a drink
You think you don't want to pass out
Where your roommates will find you again
Stumble around the neighborhood with nothing to do
You're always looking for something 
To sniff, smoke, or swallow
Calling over next door to see what they got
But you would settle for anything
That would make your brain slow down or stop
Break this circle of thoughts you chase
Before they catch back up to you
And your parents noticed your thinning face,
All the weight you lost
All the weight you are losing
You said, "No more feeling like a skeleton
No more sleep walking dead"
You're going to wake from this coma
You're going to crawl from this bed you have made
And stop counting on that camera
That hangs round your neck
Because it won't ever remember
What you chose to forget
As you try to find some source of light
Try to name one thing you like
You used to have such a longer list
And light you never had to look for it
But now it's so easy to second guess everything you do
Until all you want is to fill this half empty glass
Before the ice melts away
This feeling used to pass
But seems like it's every day and every night now

I wish that I would've known you before you got mixed up in all of this. I wish that I knew how to fix you, or talk to you for that matter. I wish I knew what's going on. I wish that I could save you. I pray every day that God helps you, but it doesn't seem like it's enough. Just please, please, be okay. Let someone in. Please.